How to deliver a great wedding speech!
Ask any groom or father what part of the wedding day they are most nervous about and the answer is nearly always the same - the SPEECHES 😰
The speeches are, without doubt, one of the most memorable parts of a wedding day. That being said, most grooms I speak to at the end of their wedding wish they didn't spend so much of their day worrying about theirs. In other words, if you (or your partner / father) find themselves worried to death about delivering their speech, be encouraged that they are never as scary as they may seem - even if you absolutely despise public speaking.
I've heard hundreds of wedding speeches at this point (and listened to each of them multiple times over in the editing room). So, whilst I am most definitely no 'speech giving expert', I have definitely noticed a few common trends among the speeches that are memorable for the right reasons as opposed to speeches that are memorable for all the wrong reasons (I can't lie - there have been a few of those too 😅)
So, for what it's worth, let me share with you some of the common trends among the speeches that I've seen land well:
1) Remember it's a speech, not a sermon
Quite often, when it comes to delivering a speech, less is more. Probably the most common trend I see among speeches that don't seem to land well is that they are way longer than they needed to be. It is said that the sweet spot for a speech is in the 5-10 minute mark. That might sound like a long time to you but, in reality, it's not at all.
You would be surprised how quickly the time goes when you're speaking in front of people. This is why so many people find themselves in a state of disbelief when they sit down after their speech and discover they were speaking for over 40 minutes (On one occassion even my cameras thought the speech was too long and began to overheat - that was stressful 😰 📷). The best way to manage your timings is to write a full script and practice it a few times whilst timing yourself.
2) Google can be your friend (but can also be your foe)
There's lots of material you can find on google which can help with your speech writing. In particular, this is where most people find a few jokes that they want to slip in. I think i've heard every wedding joke Google has to offer at this point and, to be fair, they usually do get a good response - most guests don't attend weddings regularly enough to have heard them before (or at least remember them).
However, just be wary that the others who will be delivering their speech before you will more than likely also have been on Google. I've seen a few best men's faces drop over the years as they watched the Father of the Bride tell jokes in his speech that they had also planned on using later on. I think the rule on Google jokes is, firstly, keep them limited and, secondly, have a few spares up your sleeve. I find they work best at the start of the speech as a way of settling your nerves.
(Bonus tip - instead of using Google - finding material on other platforms like Instagram and TikTok might make your sourced material more original and reduce the likelihood of someone else using the same content as you. For example, most Father's of the bride / groom won't be looking there).
3) People love to hear stories
This is why Google shouldn't write your entire speech. The best speeches share personal stories about your relationship with your spouse to be (or son / daughter). They don't have to be funny stories. They can be stories about how you met, some of your favourite memories together, or stories that reveal a particular characteristic about the bride (or groom) that you admire.
The more personal a wedding speech, in general, the better. A quick warning on stories, however - it is best to stay away from inside jokes. As hilarious as they might be, don't forget that they will be completely lost on 95% of the room.
4) Heartfelt beats slick
For most of us, public speaking isn't easy. In fact, some reports suggest it is the most common fear for the majority of the population. Since it's not something that most of us do on a regular basis, no one expects you to stand up and deliver something that Martin Luther King would be proud of. In light of this, don't pressure yourself into thinking that you must deliver some sort of slick 'TED talk' style wedding speech. Rather, just prepare something that is honest, concise and heartfelt. Authenticity trumps eloquence every day of the week.
Hopefully those tips have been helpful. Feel free to forward this email on to whoever it might be most applicable to on your big day. All in all, speeches are such a highlight of the day and definitely not something you should allow yourself to get worked up about. Remember, everyone in the room is on your side and cheering you on.